Jumping Through Hoops: Registering Your Marriage in Japan

My husband and I were married 2 years ago in Saskatchewan, Canada. The past two years have been a blur, and though our relationship status changed, our daily lives really didn’t.

One thing both of us wanted from very early on, was to have our marriage recognized in both Canada and Japan. Our reasons for this are:

1.       So that I can be placed on the family koseki back in Japan as H’s wife (though I think, as a foreigner, it would be more of a “dependant”). H’s dad has been talking about how, when I die, I will be buried in the family grave in the hills of Kakegawa (nice chat to have over a morning coffee, hey?). Therefore, I had to be legally recognized as H’s wife, not just in Canada.

2.       Since Suzuna was born out of wedlock, and in Canada, in order to have her added to the family koseki as well, H has to formally “recognize” Suzuna as his child. This can be done once our marriage is registered as well.

3.       In order for Suzuna to get her Japanese Citizenship, she must be registered on the family koseki.

Before I start, let me be clear that I do not know how registering a marriage that happened in Japan works. It may be the same process if one spouse is a foreigner, I don’t know. This is just our experience registering our marriage while outside of Japan. Now, onward!

It is a process, let me tell you. I wish I could do everything at once, but it is a step-by-step process. Therefore, this blog: so that anyone who is one day in my shoes can possibly be saved from banging their head on the wall, wondering what to do next.

First, don’t be a procrastinator. H and I were married in September 2013, and went to Japan again in October 2014. Only in October did we think, “hey, wouldn’t it be a good idea to get the paperwork done now?”. So, in October we head over to city hall and gathered all the forms to register our marriage.

The first thing you need is to go to city hall and pick up a 婚姻届 (konin todoke or marriage registration) form. The photo above is a blank form I pulled off the internet, as I don't overly want to post our form on here. In total, we had to provide:

1.       A copy of my passport (of course, that’s totally understandable)

2.       A copy of our marriage certificate (both the one given to us by the priest, and the official document from the province) which had to be translated and signed to be a true copy

3.       The 婚姻届, of course. Written in Japanese only, and signed by both husband and wife.

It was a pretty straight forward process, however we made the mistake was not planning ahead. Therefore, we had to do all of this back in Canada, and then send it back to Japan. Twice. Because the first time we sent it I had written the translation, but forgot to actually sign it. Jeez. Then, to make things even more messed up, we got a call from the city stating that our address in Japan “was not valid”.

The reason for this? H’s family home is next to a warehouse that they own for one of their companies. Also on the property is an apartment building and an older building that used to be a little shop. Once all those renovations had taken place, it somehow messed with the address system. We couldn’t just get them to change the address to the proper one, they had to explicitly hear it from my husband that XXX was our address. (Of course when I learned this I thought, “Shouldn’t we have noticed this before?)

Either way, the process of registering our marriage and adding me to the family koseki is complete! The next step will be to have H formally recognize Suzuna as his child. I'm pretty sure that for baby in my tummy, this will not be necessary, as H and I are married. Though I know because baby will be born in Canada, there will still be some paperwork to do.

Still, I am hoping to get the next step of the process over with as quickly as possible. That way, when baby is born, all I have to worry about is applying for visas for Suzuna, baby and I. We will worry about the kids' Japanese Citizenship when we are actually in Japan.

In the end, this will all be worth it. Having our family recognized in both Canada and Japan is so important for us, and having the kids with both citizenships will allow them to choose which country to go to school (until they are of age and must choose one citizenship).